The Extra Fun Lyrics Extravaganza!


All songs originally property of Disney, used and altered without permission. All alterations done by me, along with the superhuge help of S.A.N. "Kiss the Guy" is the brainchild of myself and C.R.H., created during a spectacular late-night paper-writing session, in conjunction with an interpretive dance not here appearing.

 

-         The Patrocles Song

-         Dawn’s Slaying Montage

-         Tara’s World – extended!

-         Wesley’s Training Montage

-         I Won’t Say I’m in Love

-         Zero to Hero

-         Dawn’s Reprise

-         Be Prepared

-         The Mob Song

-         Reflection

-         When You Wish Upon a Star

-         Savages

-         Circle of Life

 

 

Kiss the Guy

 

There you see him

Sitting on the battlement

He don’t got a lot to say

But you want that boy in your tent

 

And you don’t know why

But you’re dying to try

You want to kiss the guy

 

There you see him

Lying on the battlefield

He got his blood on your shield

Now Hector’s got to pay

 

And you’re going mad

Cause you’re oh so sad

You want to kill that lad

 

Fight with me now

 

Sha la la la la la

Crazy man

You’ve got to make a plan

You’ve got to kill the man

 

Woah-oh!

 

Sha la la la la la la

My oh my!

Patroclus did die

You’ve got to kill the guy

 

Now’s your moment

Running ‘round the Trojan Walls

Achilles better do it soon

Hector’s got to take a fall

 

[top]

 

One Jump

 

Gotta keep

One jump

Ahead of the demons

One swing ahead of the sword

 

I kill only ‘cause we can’t afford

To let them live

 

One jump ahead of the vampires

That's all ‘cause they’re quick blokes

These guys don't appreciate

My jokes

 

Riff raff

White Hat

Slayer

Take that!

 

Just a little snack hun

 

Rip him open,

It will be fun

 

Can’t you take a hint

Gotta face the facts

I’m afraid you’re out of luck

 

Fuck!

 

Oh, it's sad the slayer’s hit the bottom

She's become a one-girl rise in death

 

I'd blame a watcher except she hasn't got one

 

Gotta slay  to kill

Gotta kill this hurt

I’d tell you all about it but you’re out of time

 

One jump

Ahead of the slow pokes

One skip

Ahead of my doom

God I’m

Sick of my nom de plume

 

One jump ahead of the monsters

One stake and I can’t fail

I think I'll take a stroll around the ‘Dale

 

Stop bitch

Killer

Outrage

Slaughter

 

let's not be too hasty

‘Cause I think he's rather tasty

 

Gotta eat to live

Gotta kill to eat

Otherwise we'd get along

 

Wrong!

 

One jump ahead of the hoof beats

(Killer!)

One hop ahead of the horns

(White Hat!)

One trick ahead of disaster

(Slayer!)

They're quick, but I'm much faster

(take that!)

 

Here goes

Better throw my stake in

These vamps won’t be waking

All I gotta do is jump

 

[top]

 

Part of That World

 

Look at this stuff

Isn’t it neat

Wouldn’t you think my

Collection’s complete

Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl

The girl who has everything

 

Look this trove

Treasures untold

How many wonders

Can one dungeon hold

Looking around here you’d think

Sure, she’s got everything

 

I’ve got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty

I’ve got humans and demons galore

You want iron maidens

I got twenty

 

But who cares

No big deal

I want more

 

I want to be where the brimstone is

I want to see

Want to see souls burning

Impaled through their

What do you call them

Spleens

 

Flashing your fangs

You don’t get too far

Hell is required

For unending torment

Flaying them slowly with

What’s that way again

Ah, bare hands

 

Down where they scream

Down where they die

Down where they wish they’d gone

Somewhere high

Torturing free

Wish I could be

Part of that world

 

What would I give

If I could live out of this dimension

What would I pay

To spend a day warm in the fire

 

Betcha in hell

They know it well

Know that the demons should be ruling

 

Bright young Mayors

Sick of slayers

Ready for hell

 

And ready to know

What the devils know

Ask them my questions

And get some answers

 

What is brimstone

And why does it

What’s the word

Burn

 

When’s it my turn

Wouldn’t I love

Love to destroy

That place up above

 

Out of the ‘Dale

Know I can’t fail

To destroy this world

 

[top]

 

I’ll Make a Slayer Out of You: The Training Montage

 

Let’s get down to business

To defeat demons

Did they send me a human

Not the chosen one

 

You’re the saddest one

I ever met

But you can bet

Before we’re through

Buffy I’ll make a slayer out of you

 

Tranquil as a forest

But on fire within

Once you find your center

You are sure to win

 

You’re a spineless, pale, pathetic lot

And you haven’t got a clue

Somehow I’ll make fighters out of you

 

I’m never gonna catch my breath

Say goodbye to those who knew me

Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym

This guy’s got them scared to death

Hope he doesn’t see right through me

Now I really wish that I knew how to swim

 

Kill the vamps

You must be swift as the coursing river

Kill the vamps

With all the force of a great typhoon

Kill the vamps

With all the strength of the raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

 

Time is racing toward us

Till Tara arrives

Heed my every order

And we might survive

 

You’re unsuited for

The rage of war

So pack up

Go home

You’re through

 

How could I make a slayer out of you

 

Kill the vamps

We must be swift as the coursing river

With all the force of a great typhoon

With all the strength of the raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

 

Kill the vamps

We must be swift as the coursing river

With all the force of a great typhoon

With all the strength of the raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

 

[top]

 

I Won’t Say I’m in Love

 

If there’s a prize for rotten judgment

I guess I’ve already won that

No man is worth the aggravation

That’s ancient history

Been there

Done that

 

Who’d ya think you’re kidding?

He was the earth and heaven to you

Try to keep it hidden

Honey we can see right through you

(oh no)

Try but can’t conceal it

We know how you feel and who you’re thinking of

 

Oh, no chance

No way

I won’t say

No, no

 

You swoon, you cry

Why deny it?

Uh-oh

 

It’s too cliché

I won’t say I’m in love

 

I thought my heart had learned its lesson

It feels so good when you start out

My head is screaming

Get a grip girl

Unless you’re dying to

Cry your heart out

 

You keep on denying

Who you are and how you’re feeling

Baby we aren’t buying

Hun we saw you hit the ceiling

Face it like a grown up

When you gonna own up

That you’ve got, got, got it bad

 

Woah, no chance, no way

I won’t say it, no, no

 

Give up your fears

Check the tears, you’re in love

 

This scene won’t play

I won’t say I’m in love

 

Quit doing this

Read our lips

You’re in love

 

You’re way off base

I won’t say it

Get off my case

I won’t say it

 

Now don’t be proud

It’s okay

You’re in love

 

At least out loud

I won’t say I’m in love

 

[top]

 

Zero to Hero

 

Bless my soul

Buff was on a roll

Slayer of the year

Not just a mere human soul

 

How adored

She could kill a horde

Point her at a monster

She’ll break up its smorgasbord

 

She was a no one

A zero, zero

Now she’s a hot shot

She’s a hero

She was a kid with her act down pat

Zero to hero in no time flat

Zero to hero just like that

 

When she smiled

The boys went wild

Oh what a shocker

And they slapped her face

On every place

In every locker

 

From a teenage girl

Through portal hurled

Our Dawn got strength to kill

Now newly strong and chosen

She could tell you of a slayer’s will

 

Say amen

There she goes again

Almost undefeated

In an awesome nine for ten

 

Folks line up

To watch her dodge those hits

And her perfect package

Packed a pair of pretty – hey!

 

Dawn if she comes she sees she conquers

Honey the vamps were going bonkers

She showed the moxie brains and spunk

From zero to hero

She dates a hunk

Zero to hero

And who’da thunk

 

Who put the glad in gladiator

Buff, uh, Dawn

Whose daring deeds are great theater

Buff, um, Dawn

Is she the bomb

No one braver

Is she sweet

Our favorite flavor

Oh my god

The slayer’s Dawn

 

Bless my soul

Dawn was on a roll

Once defeated

Fighting quick

And the nicest chick

Not conceited

She was a nothing

Zero, zero

Now she’s a hot shot

Hero, hero

She hit the heights at break-neck speed – literally

From zero to hero

Dawn she is a hero

Now she is a hero

Yes indeed

 

[top]

 

Dawn’s Reprise

 

Yes it’s me

I’m not Buffy

Not as you know her

 

Read my lips

And come to grips

With reality

 

We must fight a blast from my past

My lies were too good to last

Yes I saw Tara and let her go free

 

So Buffy

Turns out to be

Merely her sister

 

I’m just a con

Need I go on

Take it from me

 

My personality flaws

Let her out of my claws

My Tara’s sweet

So I let her go

I hoped she’d not be

A terrible foe

My heart’s not frozen

I can’t be chosen

And I know that I’m not

Buffy

You’ll be

Fine without me

 

[top]

 

Be Prepared

 

I know that your powers of retention

Are as wet as a warthog’s backside

But thick as you are

Pay attention

My words are a matter of pride

 

It’s clear from your vacant expressions

The lights are not all on upstairs

But we’re talking watchers, successions

Even you can’t be caught unawares

 

So prepare for the chance of a lifetime

Be prepared for sensational news

A shining new era is tip-toeing nearer

 

And where do I feature?

 

Just listen to teacher

I know it sounds sordid

But you’ll be rewarded

When at last she is given her due

And in justice deliciously squared

Be prepared

 

It’s great that we’ll soon be connected

To a new watcher, all-time adored

 

Of course quid pro quo

You’re expected

To take certain duties on board

The future is littered with prizes

And though I’m the main addressee

The point that I must emphasize is

You won’t get a kill without me

 

So prepare for the coup of the century

Be prepared for the murkiest scam

Meticulous planning

Tenacity spanning

Decades of denial

Is simply why I’ll

Be queen undisputed

Respected, saluted

And seen for the wonder I am

Yes my powers, ambitions are bared

Be prepared

 

[top]

 

The Mob Song

 

The slayer will make off with your childer

She’ll come after them in the night

We’re not safe until her head

Is mounted on my wall

 

I say we kill the slayer!

 

Yeah!!

 

We’re not safe until she’s dead

She’ll come stalking us at night

Set to sacrifice our childer

To her monstrous appetite

She’ll wreak havoc on our cadre

If we let her wander free

 

So it’s time to take some action boys

It’s time to follow me

 

Through the mist

Through the graves

Through the darkness and the shadows

It’s a nightmare but it’s one exciting ride

 

Raise the cry

They’ll soon die

In the center of the city

Where the slayer and the White Hats all reside

 

She’s a bitch

She has stakes

Razor sharp ones

Massive swords

For her hordes

And her witch

 

Hear us roar

See us foam

Cause we’re not coming home

Till they’re dead

Good and dead

Kill the bitch

 

Grab your stake

Buffy’s fake

Screw your courage to the sticking place

We’re counting on Olivia to lead the way

 

Through the mist

Through the wood

Where within a haunted graveyard

Something’s lurking that we all see everyday

 

It’s a vamp

One as cruel as a devil

We won’t  rest

Till she’s good

And deceased

 

Sally forth

Tally ho

Grab your sword

Grab your bow

Praise the lord and here we go

 

We’ll lay siege to her crypt and cut off her head

 

Hearts ablaze

Banners high

We go marching into battle

Unafraid although the danger’s just increased

 

Raise the flag

Sing the song

Here we come

We’re fifty strong

And fifty vampires can’t be wrong

Let’s kill the beasts!

 

[top]

 

Reflection

 

Look at me

I will never pass for a perfect Buff

Or a perfect slayer

Can it be

I’m not meant to play this part

Now I see

that if I were truly to be

myself

I would break my watcher’s heart

 

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me

Why is my reflection someone I don’t know

 

Somehow I cannot hide

Who I am

Though I’ve tried

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside

 

[top]

 

When You Wish Upon a Star

 

When you wish upon a star

Makes no difference who you are

Anything your heart desires

Will come to you

 

When your heart is in your dreams

No request is too extreme

When you wish upon a star

As dreamers do

 

Fate is kind

She brings to those who love

The sweet fulfillment of

Their secret longing

 

Like a bolt out of the blue

Fate steps in and sees you through

When you wish upon a star

Your dreams come true

 

[top]

 

Savages

 

This will be the night

Let’s go vamps!

 

This will be the evening

 

We will see them flying into dust

(I don’t know what I can do

Still I know I’ve got to try)

Now we make them pay

(Eagle help my feet to fly)

Now without a warning

(Mountain help my heart be great)

Now we leave them blood and bone and rust

(Spirits of the earth and sky

Please don’t let it be too late)

 

They’re just a bunch of filthy stinking

Savages

Savages

Demons

Devils

Kill them

 

Savages

Savages

What are we waiting for?

 

Destroy their evil race

Until there’s not a trace left

(How loud are the drums of war?)

Now we sound the drums of war

 

They’re savages, savages

They won’t see the morning

(Was the death of all I loved

Carried in the drumming of – war)

Now we sound the drums of war

 

[top]

 

Circle of Life

 

From the day we arrive on the planet

And blinking step into the sun

There’s more to see

Than can ever be seen

More to do than can ever be done

 

There’s far too much to take in here

More to find than can ever be found

But the sun rolling high

Through the sapphire sky

Keeps great and small

On the endless round

 

It’s the circle of life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our place

On the path unwinding

In the circle

The circle of life

 

Some of us fall by the wayside

And some of us soar to the stars

And some of us sail through our troubles

And some have to live with the scars

 

Some say eat or be eaten

Some say live and let live

But all are agreed

As they join the stampede

You can never take more than you give

 

It’s the circle of life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our place

On the path unwinding

In the circle

The circle of life

 

[top]