palace of winds

Dear god.

Let me say that again.

Dear god.

It’s impossibly complicated to get a new computer. There are so many things that need moving and installing, all of which is so very, very far beyond my brain capacity right now. I feel like I’ve been comatose for days. I’m holding on by my fingernails, and in large part because my bed is covered in things, most of them new-computer detritus. I’m so tired I could weep, and I have to be up for work tomorrow. The thought of getting out of bed is so enormous in itself, I can’t even imagine picking out clothing, showering, getting dressed and make-up’d, making and eating breakfast, making lunch.

Everything will be brighter in the morning, though, and hopefully somewhere in the next few days I’ll find the energy to install everything necessary to get vacation pictures off my digital camera, and then I will share prettiness and stories.

Alternatively, I may sleep for a thousand years.

From above Chicago looks like a glorious little model, clouds rolling in off the lake and drifting around the city’s skyscrapered fingers. We bank left and I sit with my head resting beside the little window, the sun warming my face, and I watch the shadow of our plane skating across buildings below, slipping over houses and the thick grey ribbon of interstate where I hope Stephanie. And I wait for the houses to ripple into sand dunes, to become like skin, our shadow the dark shape of a body swimming a far-off desert. But then we are over a real expanse of blue, and higher still to an endless world of white.

I just barely missed the light. It miffs me a little, actually; the turn lane isn’t long enough for all the people who want to turn right from 6 onto 12, and when it’s busy the light always cuts a portion of them off from turning. You’d think it would have sensors that worked well enough to let everyone through. I was near the end of the line, but even with the two people who slid past on red there were five of us left waiting.

So I nearly had a front row seat for the accident less than thirty seconds later. I was looking the other way, actually, and when I happened to glance left I thought how curious it was that there was a white car angling onto the shoulder, and that a truck and its massive trailer were veering suddenly left, toward oncoming traffic. Ooo, almost a fender-bender, I thought.

Until I saw the back of the white car. It was crushed. The trunk was completely crumpled in, all the way to the back windshield. Beyond that I couldn’t tell; I couldn’t see very well, since there was a line of cars strung across the intersection, a confusion of people trying to pull over and pull around, the truck hesitating and finally moving up and onto the shoulder beyond the wrecked car.

I wanted to help, but I was across the intersection and there were already people edging over, and everyone nowadays has a cell. So the light changed and I finally made my turn, and kept on going. I hope everyone’s all right.