palace of winds

“You’ll find many ways to say ‘I love you.’
You’ll find many ways to understand what love is.”

I’m working on Christmas gifts this morning, and instead of watching soap operas (in the two times I’ve seen Passions in the last eight months they’ve been in the hospital, weeping over their dying babies — because three or four people were pregnant at the same time, and near as I tell they all went into premature labor) — ahem, instead of watching soap operas, I’m watching Mr. Rogers. It’s been a ridiculously long time.

Lady Elaine and the Fortune Cookie Man were missing, but they’ve just been found with magical finder balloons. And Fortune Cookie Man speaks Spanish for some unknown reason. (Well, I imagine because it’s the predominant second language in the US, but why they would attach it to a fortune cookie…)

This show is so wholesome, and they have all these wonderful little songs, and it makes me happy that I grew up with it, because it gives children a world where there is spontaneous song and a whole make-believe land and such value placed on loving other people.

Last night I dreamt forever of a slim old dark-haired man with a tanned, wrinkled face who was arranging my hair. I sat patiently behind the front counter of his third-story office while he gathered small strands, twisting and braiding, planning the design into which he would weave bright yellow and orange carnations. He kept getting distracted, talking to the smooth-faced young woman whose hair was as black as his, and I watched out the window.

Sometimes it was day, and everything was brilliant and bright and blindingly white and there were people walking past through the snow, and a man who I watched slip and fall. And then it was night and everything out there was as dim as the room where I sat, all was black lit with pale orange and there were no stars. People rushed up and down the rickety old wooden steps and below us the bar/ballroom hummed to life, and those who were prepared for the party left in their elegant gowns and the man arranging my hair talked on to the other woman. I reached up to feel what had already been done, and he had lifted part of the hair from my temples and woven it back and joined it in the center of the back of my head, starting an intricate knot where the flowers would go. And I knew it would be beautiful, and I knew he would never finish it.

Nicked from Katie:

What song…

• Fits your life as it is currently the most?: “Oklahoma,” by Common Rotation; “Mad World,” by Gary Jules
• Reminds you to be grateful for the little things?: “Easy,” by Cowboy Mouth
• Makes you wanna get up and dance?: “Voodoo,” by Godsmack; “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” by Stone Temple Pilots; “Jenny Says,” by Cowboy Mouth; “Lady Marmalade,” from Moulin Rouge
• Makes you reach for a box of kleenex?: “Amazing Grace”
• Reminds you of something you’ve lost?: “Strong Enough,” by Sheryl Crow; “Hey Jupiter,” by Tori Amos
• Is the one you secretly like but would NEVER admit?: “Skater Boy,” by Avril Lavigne
• Is the most depressing?: “Me and a Gun,” by Tori Amos; “The Door,” by Martin Page
• Can put you in a horribly depressing mood?: “Overcome,” Live; “I Feel Home,” Oar; “Who Will Love Me Now,” PJ Harvey; “Full of Grace,” Sarah McLachlan
• Can put you in a hyperily happy mood?: “Everybody Went Low,” by John Hiatt
• Causes your imagination to soar?: “Evil Angel,” by Rufus Wainwright; “Down to the River to Pray,” by Alison Krauss; everything Tori
• Makes you want things you can never have?: “Anthem,” sung by Tony Head
• Inspires you?: “Colorblind,” by Counting Crows; “Carbon,” by Tori Amos
• Makes you kinda horny?: “Feelin’ Love,” by Paula Cole (so skanky); “Closer,” by NIN; “All That Jazz,” from Chicago
• Is your all-time favourite?: “Hallelujah,” sung by Rufus Wainwright
• Makes you calm and rather content?: “Yes Anastasia,” by Tori Amos; NIN’s Downward Spiral album
• Has personal meaning to you?: “Strong Enough,” by Sheryl Crow; “Yellow,” by Coldplay; “Everybody Went Low,” by John Hiatt