Archive for November, 2008

November 8th, 2008

» right & wrong

The things that went wrong:

In Denver, a plane bound for Minneapolis had mechanical trouble. And then someone had a heart attack. And then someone(s) had to be forcibly removed — the story there begins with intoxication and the rest is is up to you to imagine. So the plane, coming to Minneapolis, is an hour or so late. It turns around to go back to Denver, but is newly scheduled to land 7 minutes after my connection to San Francisco leaves. Before leaving Minneapolis I get myself switched to a flight from Denver to San Jose, which they have promised to hold the 5 minutes or so needed for us to make it — which doesn’t fall into the “things that went right” category because they do not, in fact, wait the 5 minutes.

I am less than thrilled with Frontier. Very less than thrilled.

After giving us hotel vouchers we are directed through the main terminal to the east side pick-up, where we stand in the cold waiting for the hotel shuttle. And waiting. And waiting. The hotel staff have stopped answering the phone, but only after we discover they’ve been sending all their shuttles to the west side. We climb into a private van at $5 each; as it pulls out, the hotel shuttle arrives.

The hotel, it does not have toothpaste.

In the morning, the hotel, it does not have bananas.

The airport restaurants, the coffee shops, the convenience stores, they do not have bananas.

The bookshop, it will not take my meal voucher for books.

The Frontier Customer Screwage desk, it does not have toothpaste.

The baby two rows up on my flight to San Francisco, twelve long hours later, it wails. And wails.

Frontier, I hate you. Drunk Denver people, I hate you.

Things that went right:

This happened on a four day visit instead of a quick weekend. If I had to get back on a Frontier flight tomorrow, I’m not sure I could stop from being a very ugly, unhappy person.

I am, at any rate, sitting on a plane to San Francisco, and that is always right.

The bed in my hotel room, it must be emperor-sized. I lie on my back and stretch both arms out and, freakishly long though they are, I can’t touch both sides of the bed at once. It is, I think, as wide across as my twin bed at home is long. I have five pillows. (And yet I sleep curled in one spot int he middle of this giant yacht of a bed all night.)

I have a $150 voucher for a future flight — which belongs in the other category right now because Frontier, have I mentioned how much I hate you right now? Still, $150.

(Oh god — addendum to the “wrong” category — I just heard the baby vomit everywhere.)

I have not seen anyone so far in a spandex jumpsuit; the people sitting in my aisle haven’t verbally assaulted me.

(God, the baby reeks.)

I can finally claim a worse airport experience than the time I showed up for a flight a day late. That ended after a few hours in delicious jam. Granted this current never-ending odyssey will end in Bryce, and, for the record, he is even better than your very own tiny pot of jam in first class.