palace of winds

I had a dream the other night that Sara gave me a puppy. A corgi, specifically, a gorgeous blue-speckled corgi with huge foxy ears and big dark eyes. I thought, in the dream, that she was a blue merle, and maybe she was, but the great mysterious internet seems to suggest that blue merles must have irregular blotchy spots, and she was regularly and perfectly flecked, or ticked, or speckled, or whatever. Regardless, she was beautiful and ever-so-cuddly, and I was quite distressed since dogs aren’t allowed in my apartment. I had no idea how I could keep her, but very much did not want to give her up.

I think, periodically, about getting a cat. It’s clearly a bad idea since I’m never home, but I always turn to this perfectly sound explanation with a faint trace of guilt, because even if I were home more often there is a part of me that still would not want a cat. There are lots of cats out there who deserve good homes, but I really like being able to go out of town without a second thought, and never having to worry about hair or vomit or a litter box. That and I still can’t really think about my cat, can’t even think his name, without feeling like someone has pulled all my insides out. I almost didn’t make the horse decision for it.

Anyway, mostly I like the total lack of responsibility. Same sort of reason having kids (ever) doesn’t quite appeal to me. (That and the expense. Children are dreadfully, dreadfully expensive.) Is this something people get over before they get pets or have kids? Or is it something that just evaporates after the pets or kids have been acquired?

I have decided, for now, that I will not get a dog unless it is that blue-speckled corgi. Which is really a moot point because my new apartment doesn’t allow dogs either, but it’s one less decision to make down the road. Or one more window for fate: if that puppy materializes, I’ll know it’s time to move again.

Also, totally unrelated, IT IS STILL COLD and I demand that it STOP RIGHT NOW PLEASE. I’ve lost track of the number of days in a row that I’ve stepped outside in the morning and had my nose freeze shut a little. I want to get back to playing with my horse, please. Please? Pretty please?