Archive for May, 2006

May 31st, 2006

» summerlove

I woke this morning shortly after five with a roaring headache. Which is odd, since the cure for my headaches is sleep. Silly body. So I have been pampering myself — it’s a glasses day, a comfy cami day, an extra morning cup of tea day, a toast with strawberry jam day. A day of again vaguely wanting to return to Moxie to tell my stylist he rocks and to thank him for giving me a haircut that requires only a brief shower, a quick towel-dry, and a few finger flicks, and then is content to be left to its own devices.

Last night I had my parents over for dinner (spinach salad with strawberries and walnuts, saffron risotto), and then I dragged them down to Jamba Juice. The weather was beautiful. Summer has decided abruptly to arrive, and has been bathing us in relentless gorgeousness since late last week. There have been moments when the heat has become a little oppressive, a hot heavy still presence, but it is worth it a thousandfold when I stand at my kitchen window and the wind breathes in cool and smelling sweet and rich. Bringing deep-down happy. Moments that are worth everything.

I spent Saturday with my sister, which was lovely, and Sunday and Monday working with my dad on our secret project, which was equally lovely. Particularly since it meant I was outside almost all day both days, and with highs of 97 and 94 respectively I feel I’ve more or less baked winter out of my bones. Sleeping has been an adjustment; I feel like I’m back at school in those sweltering late August days, just me and the low whir of the fan coaxing sleep, waiting through the dull press of heat.

I feel a little like I’m waking up. I can’t stop being quietly happy, smiling at odd moments. Is it possible to love weather? Is it possible to love possibility? My capacity for creation, that weird vague wanting to weave and build and make, that feeling which has been waning since Christmastime, is back. All I see any more are beginnings. If I had twice the time I could not begin to slake this longing. I feel like a proper Leo lion girl, sun setting me roaring.

May 23rd, 2006

» junkie

I’m tired today. Wearing thin under this obsession. Grasping after every moment, shaving time where I can. Staying up a little longer, just fifteen minutes more, just ten now, what’s another five?; skipping makeup, choosing the easier lunch; sneaking time when the office is empty.

It’s usually fantasy novels that do it to me. They’re the ones with the power to plunge you so completely, so breathlessly, into a world so radically other (but familiar still, in all the right ways). Slip down under your skin so that every moment in the real world, every real thing, casts a faint shadow of some other waiting life. A constant low whispering urge, the need to know. No peace without that book, no ceasing until it can be set at last aside. A little like refined carbs; the more you consume the more you crave, never quite satisfied, half mad with wanting.

Robin Hobb: Damn/Thank you. Library: I finished the second book and I require the third immediately. For my sanity and your own welfare, please transfer it faster. Really.

May 22nd, 2006

» and then I

Jo and I raised $239.00 for the AIDS Walk — thank you to everyone who donated! We hadn’t expected such an awesome response in just under a week. I haven’t started thank-yous yet, so if you have a specific request now’s your chance. (Yes, Bryce, I’ll write you a haiku.)

Saturday was all about me dragging myself unwilling into planned activities, and then enjoying them every bit as much as I thought I would when I’d planned them. I had a bike ride down to Whole Foods that very, very nearly didn’t happen; for some reason when the time came to actually go down and get the bike it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do. I went anyway, and as soon as I got my lazy butt on the seat I enjoyed myself very much. It was a little cool out but by the time I got to the store I was ready to shed my coat and my hoodie, and shopped comfortably in just my tank top — which you know is a small miracle, based on how often I bitch about being freezing. I went quite willingly to lunch with Carrie, so that bit was out of theme for the day, but it was wonderful to see her — we’re still way too infrequent with that, though I’m hoping we’ll be better this summer.

I’d asked my dad if we could on Saturday afternoon get a start on a project that will here remain veiled in mystery for the rest of summer. I again really didn’t want to leave the house but again did anyway, and was rewarded with a productive store-stop with my dad and a nice evening at my parents’, plus a find at Pier One that’s been eight months or so in coming: a papasan cushion. I got one of the more upright swively papasan chairs on freecycle, but it was just the base bit. I’ve been meaning to sew a cushion for it for ages and ages but just haven’t gotten around to translating dimensions to fabric needs and getting to the fabric store. Which is fantastic because I got this beautiful beige curdoroy cushion for $30, and there’s no way I could’ve bought all that fabric and stuffing and made anything near as nice for the same price.

And now it’s lunchtime, and I’m dreadfully bored with this entry myself, so. If you stayed awake through it, I commend you.

May 19th, 2006

» love

Thank you thank you to everyone who’s donated for the AIDS Walk so far! I don’t want to make any promises, but I want to do something nice to thank y’all. Any suggestions? I’ll definitely try to do at least an exclusive little write-up about the walk. Jo’s promised everyone stick figures, though, and I think that trumps me. Hmm, maybe I could also offer Jo stick figure originals…

May 16th, 2006

» MN AIDS Walk

Jo and I are walking this Sunday — please consider a tax-deductible donation!