palace of winds

I woke up this morning in love.

Everything aches today. My stomach, my legs, my head. My heart. Breathing seems like a lot of work. I’m not sad or anything, just tired.

I forgot to take out my contacts last night so I slept in them. First time ever, in — well, years of having them. Nearly a decade, I think. I was exhausted but when I laid down I couldn’t sleep. I finally curled up around Rupert Bear, which I haven’t done in a long time, and almost immediately passed out.

Jo and I have nearly finished our costumes; we’re down to accessories now. Little gold silk pouches. Jewel-encrusted cutlasses. Inertia has devoured the garters and the fake boots and any elaborate head gear or sashing. The important part (being more or less respectably clothed) is finished, and beyond that we will be too drunk to care. I am all gleeful anticipation. There is nothing like a Halloween party, and no party companion like Jo.

I gave in and ordered Movies in Fifteen Minutes from Amazon UK, since it looks like it won’t be distributed in the US till next fall, and I don’t want to wait that long. I oughtn’t've splurged like that, but — well. It’s done now and I can’t bring myself to regret it, despite the heaps and heaps of unread/un-listened-to things I have stacked all over the floor of my room. Especially the copy of Anansi Boys I’ve got out of the library, which I started this morning since I got ready for work too quickly. Perhaps because I skipped all makeup and put my hair up in a ponytail. I probably look every bit as tired as I feel.

I’m unbelievably thirsty but I can’t get more than a few sips of anything down. It’s a weird feeling.

Alex laughs now. I feel like I’ve mentioned that, but he and I had such a good time Friday. He gave me this big sort of goofy squeaky full haha Mel said she hadn’t heard before. He’s ticklish in a way he wasn’t before. When he was first born he was just angry about it; he’d flinch and kick and get red-faced if you tickled his feet. He hated clothes too, though; I think everything then was just so new and sensitive. Now when you tickle under his arms he squirms and twists and giggles.

There’s nothing like being looked at by a baby. The directness of that. Knowing every second they’re working on really figuring things out. Everything about them is exponential.