March 20th, 2004 - 2:40 am
» hangers
Two women on television are trying to sell me hangers. I’m convinced that one of them is the model for said hangers, as her collarbone and the tendons in her neck jut alarmingly up from her skin. Her grin is crazed, a toothy Joker affair with a side of grimace.
She also wants me to pay $60 for 50 of her hangers (plus a few other odds and ends they always throw in, but the $60 is without shipping and handling, which I’m sure is astronomical, so I’m discounting both the odds and s&h). For $60 I could get 681 hangers at Walmart. Sure they don’t twist the way these hangers do, but they’re slim enough, and none of them have ever done anything to the color of my clothes. And it’s not like buying new hangers would make a neat, color-organized anal affair out of anyone’s closet when it was originally a vomited orgy of clothes. (This is, of course, discounting the motivational effects of new hangers. I realize this motivation is considerable. But I don’t think it makes up for them cheating me out of 631 hangers.)